A few embarrassing stories 

Those who know me know that I’m prone to embarrassing things happening to me. It’s like I attract the worst situations. Whilst it does make for humorous story telling, at the time it’s a “I want to sink into the centre of the earth and never come out again” kind of feeling. I’m the type of person who regularly pushes on a pull door.

I’ve collated a list of my most embarrassing moments for you all.

1. High Jump 


Getting in the Olympic spirit I took part in a PE class in high school in which we were all aiming for Gold. With bronze successfully completed, I prepared myself for the Silver. I can’t remember the exact measurements in terms of height but silver was a big step up from bronze. Bracing myself for the jump, I took my running steps and plummeted over the bar. Only I was faced with a shooting pain on the landing. I had, unfortunately, kneed myself in the face causing my front teeth to bleed. At first I was in shock, then I was in disbelief. My front two teeth were uneven. Long story short, over the next year I was back and to the dentist for my root canal surgery to stop it from dying and turning grey and even wore a brace for a period of time – my teeth are still uneven and the damaged tooth is slightly discoloured to the rest.

Moral of the story?   Never do high jump. Period.

 


2.
Lets take a trip down memory lane to the Summer of Year 9.

On a drunken adventure, I made my way to a place known to me as “Mini Wembley.” I met my friends there and it was a night of drinking the evening away. That is until I had someone’s fingers down my throat trying to make me be sick after dropping me on my head, not once but twice. All out of love I can assure you. Thinking I was okay I trotted off back into the night. It was home time. I was already late leaving by half an hour and so I was trying to pick up some speed.

Or so I thought.

A few hours had passed and I found myself waking up inside of a bush facing green railings that looked out onto a housing estate. My shorts were dripping wet and I had lost my phone somehow. I was so confused. All I know is somehow I managed to get a taxi to take me home. Only when I got home I was greeted to an angry father asking where hell I had been. The whole family including my aunty and cousins had gone out on a search party for me and all my friends on Facebook where trying to track my whereabouts. I ended up being grounded for a month and I still didn’t find my blackberry phone.

Moral of the story?   Don’t get drunk and get concussion.

 

3. English class Booty Bomb.


Pictured above is me and my pal Pascale. She was a witness to what I like to call the booty bomb. It was your average English lesson on a hot springtime day. We had just come back off our lunch break and was ready for our next lesson. Lucy and Jasmine were sat behind us as usual and no doubt me and Lucy were singing along to Chicago or something along those lines. I seriously don’t know how they put up with us. Or me for that matter. But they did and I love them for it. Anyways I can’t remember the exact story Pascale was telling me but what i do know is that it was very funny. So funny that I actually farted mid laughter – which made me go bright red and ended with us both in a fit of giggles and a slight look of disgust on Pascale’s face. She didn’t unfortunately laugh a bit too much and was sentenced to being sent out of the room if she carried on. Whoops, sorry Pascale.

Moral of the story?   Don’t ever get over excited in a room full of silence.

 

4. Taxi, taxi, taxi. Or perhaps not?

This midnight mishap happened as I was leaving a party that had about 200 guests attending. it was at a venue that is literally on my doorstep back home. For some reason or other I decided I was getting a cab home (despite living 2 minutes away, walking.) Just as I was leaving a black car, I think, approaches the venue and I tried to get into the vehicle only to realise later it was somebody’s Grandad, I think, picking somebody up from the event. Biggest idiot of the year award goes to me once again.

Moral of the story?   alcohol + me = bad mistakes.


 

5. The life of an orange child. 


At the tender age of 9 I decided it was a good idea to go rooting through the bathroom cupboards. I found my mother’s tanning wipes. Although at the time I thought they were just wipes. I covered myself in its bronzing moist making sure I hit every spot on both my legs and my arms. I was absolutely glowing the next day. My mum picked me up from netball after school and I was in my PE kit. She took one look at my bare arms and legs and asked what the hell had I done. Looking back I must have looked like a satsuma.

Moral of the story?   Always read the label.

 

 

6. Oops I did it again…

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It was the summer of 2016 and I was excited about an upcoming festival I was going to be attending called Creamfields. In preparation for the even, I decided to go and get my hair cut. Only when I actually sat down in the barber’s chair, I started to realise that this was one of my worst mistakes of the year. Asking for a number 2 on the sides the barber proceeded to shave my locks, only she didn’t stop at the sides. Instead she took it off the top.

STOP!!!

My shouts unfortunately couldn’t resurrect my locks. There was clearly a misunderstanding between the two of us and it was probably my fault. So I laughed it off asking her to try and fix it in anyway she could. It was too late though 3/4 of my head was shaved leaving me with a flappy fringe on one side that looked a show. I guess I was clinging onto my fringe hoping it would look alright.

In the end I got it all chopped off by Jane. She was a lifesaver!

Top 7 different date ideas

In life we’re all looking for that special someone to come along and whisk us off our feet. Some do the whisking for themselves and take matters into their own hands on their pursuit for love.

Me on the other hand, likes to do the waiting. I’m attracted to this fairytale endings and movie clichés. I hate myself for it but sadly, it’s true.

This is a message to my future Prince Charmings’ out there. These are my ultimate dream dates. You’ll win my heart with any of these 7 date ideas.

Ditch the traditional dates and say YES to having fun my way.


1. Taking the top spot with the Treasure Hunt 101


This is an idea I want saved for my honeymoon. This date, or rather, collection of dates involves a series of clues being left for me to work out or stumble across relating to places around the world that I want to tick off of my bucket list. This truly is the essence of adventure and this world trip would be spent with my partner for life. I couldn’t think of a better honeymoon than to be spending my time trotting across the globe with the person I love.

2. Runner up goes to the Adrenaline Junkie idea.


Think skydiving, bungee jumping, highlining and zip lining. Or even sad down t your nearest theme park. How awesome would this be? Outdoors adventure is what I live for, its combats fears and gets your heart going. Go Ape Is the perfect escape for a fun and memorable date if you ask me.

3. Adventure aside, tune into your more romantic side and have a 3 course dinner at 3 different restaurants.

Inspired by Ted’s 2 minute Dinner Date on How I Met Your Mother I thought this would be the perfect option for a sit down dinner. If you’re feeling really spontaneous try flavours from different parts of the world with each course you get. This is an exciting way to have fun and enjoy your time spent with your other half.

4. Bored of sitting down yet? Be a tourist for the day and explore your city.

This looks like your typical telephone box, right? WRONG. It’s filled with books – how wonderful.
I don’t care whether you’ve spent 7 years or 6 months living in your city. Get out there and explore. See all the sights and lose yourself in the magic of the moment. Just have fun with it and see the beauty that tourist get to see on each visit. This is one of my favourite things to do when exploring, I always try to keep my eyes open for things I’ve never noticed before.


5. Take a trip to the Zoo.

Animal therapy is just what the doctor ordered. I recently visited London Zoo and they have a strong focus on conservation and protection of species making it a really enjoyable visit. At the zoo there is so much scope for conversation, I find it quite peaceful chatting away amidst the surrounding wildlife. If a zoo isn’t your thing, go visit a local farm – the barnyard animals give you a chance to unwind which is what you need if you’re in the constant hustle and bustle of a city.


6. Speaking of outdoors, go take a hike or go for a bike ride.
As you can probably tell by now, I like things that people can do together. A bike ride on a hot summer day sounds perfect especially when followed by a picnic in the park. There’s a great sense of achievement felt when finishing a hike, why not basque in that glory with your special someone.

7. Last but by no means least go to a Jazz club.

There’s nothing sexier than being in a jazz club. The music is devine and it’s a great way to escape the usual club crowd. It’s swanky and it’s sophisticated all wrapped up into one. Once inside, you’re transposed into a different era, it’s great for conversing and socialising with your companion for the evening.

"Don’t be lazy, be crazy!" – Canyoning through Dalat with GroovyGecko Tours.

The day started at 6:30 am although I reluctantly got a jiggle on by 7am before making my way down for breakfast. In a matter of minutes my minibus was here.

Today was not for princesses or princes as their website stated. Today was a day for the adventurous and the risk takers. I like to think of myself as someone who fits quite comfortably in those categories. We picked up 5 mor people; 2 Taiwanese, 2 Austrian and 1 German – all girls.

Our first waterfall was a mere 7m. Easy peasy. My only feedback was not to hold the supporting rope to tightly.

Noted.

After submerging into the pool of water below I was ready to get on to the next cascading fall. This one was 30m. This was the most difficult of the three due to its steepness and awkwardness to navigate through. I endeavoured to carry on though and complete the 30m drop and I did just that.

So after a minibus, jeep transfer through the mountains and 2 waterfalls completed we decided now was a good time to stop fora spot of lunch. All divided by the company. It considered of 2 baguettes each and a selection of snacks (Pineapple, mango, banana, Oreos and banana bread.) it was delicious and very much needed.

In front of us the sun was shining and the landscape was covered in forest green pines. It was beautiful here. We were alone and in that moment I felt as though all my worries and fears had evaporated into the Alpine air. I was here and I was myself.

I had an eternity of freedom and confidence in my grasps and I wasn’t about to let that go. As i stood there facing t into the wilderness, I said to myself to remember this moment and the utter joy you feel wholeheartedly.

Time to get crazy once again. Next stop 65m. What a drop. A part of me wished I hadn’t liked down, it took my breath away. But then again I’m not the type too listen to my gut in these types of situations. Bad i know but hey live life on the edge right?

After 3 people climbed down, it was finally my time to brave the dangerous downpour. I plummeted into the abyss, water attacking my face. I abseiled down the fall, letting the rope slip through my fingertips. Unfortunately my gloves kept getting stuck and due to the rope being wet it meant that it was getting more and more heavier by the second making it harder to get down the rocks. Eventually I got to the midway point. Here it was way more slippy that the track above. I couldn’t even see my feet anymore; they were disguised within the waters.

I thought now would be a good way to hum my way through. Wrong. I lost my balance. There was something so precious about that money. Despite the support from our guides, I was very much alone on this waterfall and I relished in this. The idea of falling and tripping up whilst getting down this beast of a waterfall enthused me. I was determined and I was ready to slam down on the acceleration.

Before i knew it I was gliding my way down like a pro. I thought the view from the top was breathtaking but from down here it was more than anything you could ever imagine. The sheer size was dominating my pupils. It was simply stunning. Mesmerising in fact. I felt proud and accomplished. It was like nothing I had ever done before.

Shortly afterwards we were jumping into a nearby pool of natural water. The trek back to base was trying however. It was an upward incline back to the rope; where we had started all those hours ago. My energy had depleted but it was totally worth it.

I had possibly the best day in all of existence.

And for that I am eternally grateful.

Never be afraid to take the risks, you’ll thank yourself later for all that you have accomplished.

Nightmare in Paradise – Ha Long Bay

Today was a day for kayaking. Despite the raining rather, we all braved it out and cruised our way along the bay. Ciara, being Ciara, decided it would be a grand idea to take a detour away from the group on the terms of us ‘only having a few more hours left together before she departs for Thailand.’ I should have known it was was going to be a bad idea.

“If you insist” I replied.

So, off we went rowing toward the unknown. With a semi-plan sought out in or minds we prcoceeded onto the loop of the ‘big rock’ as Ciara called it. There were several ‘big rocks’ that day.

As we ventured out, more and more away from shore, we soon found there to e no right turn. Anywhere. So we continued voyaging straight ahead. We aw several villages on the waters. All had guard dogs that were quite vicious to us foreigners. Eventually we kind a right turn and we followed it not knowing where the hell we were going. But. At this point we didn’t care. We were surrounded by these beautiful boulders that lay there majestically. Watching the jellyfish float by, knowing we were safe inside out kayak, was somewhat peaceful as we soared across their home. It wasn’t until we took several more turns, in the wrong direction, later that we started to panic.

By ‘we’ I mean me.

We were lists. That’s the simple truth to it. Neither one of us knew where on earth we were. We had no phones to call for help. Nor did we know a number to call for said help. This is where I lost my shit. I snapped and I froze and a big parted of me wanted to burst into tears. I needed to be rescued.

Ciara, keeping calm, suggested we go back the way we came. The thought of that seemed unbearable. I was tired and so was she but like the true warriors of the seas we were, we sailed our way back through de ja vu.

Somewhere along the line we took a turn we’d ever taken before. We were asking nearby bats and Vietnemese people in the village for help. But none of them spoke a word of english let alone being able to understand our pleas for he. With no directions and no hope we sat there for a money in our kayaks, upset and miserable.

This is it i thought. I’ll be here forever.

My mind wandered over to Ciara’s earlier comment that I found humorous.

“This is where we die. They will kidnap us and use us as fish people.”

Now, not so funny. Several rows later we found an island. Was this really ours or are we imagining this? God know how long we had been stranded in this boat. For. Their beach looked so much longer that the one I remembers though. We decided to sail in its direction anyway in search of some hospitality.

A little further down the lie there was an open gap between two of the boulders. Through this gap we found our home. We were safe at last. We were victorious but there was still a huge part of me tat wanted to knock Ciara out with the oar that got us back home.

Go kayaking they said… It will be fun they said…