Being almost a month into 2017 I figured it would be a great time to write about the new year and what I hope to gain from it. Whilst 2016 had its flaws, it was rather kind to me and a lot of unexpected things panned out. For example, seeing Judi Dench arrive onset in role playing Queen Victoria. That, I was never expecting to see in a million years. I filmed as an extra on an upcoming film ‘On Chesil Beach’ in London where Dominic Cooke will be making his film directorial debut and I also posed for my first Naked Calendar for the charity BAPAM (British Association For Performing Arts Medicine.) This was all new to me. However as I sit here with my hot bowl of oatmeal and my cup of tea my mind takes a turn towards the future.
So whats in store for me this year? Hopefully a lot. With two trips planned already for this year, it’s looking promising. Expect a lot of posts on Amsterdam, Cambodia and Vietnam this year. I’ve got an awesome project I’m going to be working on in CoLab week – The Tempest. And of course there is our end of year show. But for now though, I want to talk about what I’m wanting to focus on this year. For the most part of last year I was a person who had dreams. Dreams that I worked endlessly to achieve. Dreams that I’m now living. Yes there were setbacks and yes it was a waiting game but I got there in the end. Some dreams are still yet to be accomplished. When you get to drama school, nobody actually tells you how hard it is going to be. Yes we all fought for our places here but the fight didn’t end there. It’s still ever much apparent now. The fight is inside of you. It’s a fight of commitment and hard work. one that you’re reminded of every single day. You can’t just sit back and go along for the ride, you have to want it. It’s a drive that has to come from within you. I think my family and a lot of people out there that are unknown in the field of work I do think that I just prance around all day, and whilst to some extent that is true, the process and journey behind it all is much more broad.
Now, one thing I am guilty of not doing so much last year is giving thanks for what I already have. After a late night angel card reading in my second home, Nikki’s flat aka OUR flat, telling me to be grateful for what I have; I have therefore decided that I’m going to make it a concerted effort to do just that. Funnily enough in the same reading it told me to start writing more. A thought I had been pondering for a while.
To start off with I’d like to give thanks to the amazing family I have who offer me endless support no matter what the situation. Each and every one of you hold a special spot in my heart. Even when I’m at my darkest hour I know you will always be there and I for you. Next I’d like to give thanks to my beautiful friends both old and new. It’s in the little moments of life that I look back on and smile with glee. You’ve all put joy in my heart and we’ve picked each other up and put that bounce back in each other’s steps. We are there for each other even if the road ahead looks foggy and we start to question whether we’ll actually pull through. It’s in you that my trust and faith lies, for I know we’ll just keep rolling on taking one step at a time. Together. I’d like to give thanks to the people who believed in me. The people who put confidence in you are the best sort of people. They give you hope and let you know that you CAN do it. Sometimes we all need a little bit of a push and a reminder of why we do what we love. A lot of this love has come from my teachers over the years. I think knowing that someone has your back and is rooting for you is endearing and needed. We all need that one person that helps you in your path. I happen to have many and this can come from anything. Take my acting classes for example. Acting is the one area I have the least confidence in and sometimes it gives me low-key anxiety and I never understand why but I persevere and its in them moments I am most thankful. This happened to me when rehearsing for my duologue last term. I just so happened to do the best out of my disciplines in acting last term, so I guess you could say I’m improving.
I’m trying to find different ways of saying ‘I’d like to give thanks to..’ but I am failing.
Nonetheless I will move onto my next thought of appreciation. I’m thankful for the little things in life from the cup of tea I sip before leaving for uni each morning to my education – something that shouldn’t be taken for granted. Here in the UK you have so many opportunities and possibilities available to you that’s not necessarily available to you in other countries, but you don’t always appreciate it. I’m thankful for the literature in all forms that I happen to own for continuously adding wisdom into my life and allowing me to visit places of my imagination like a 5-year-old again. I’m thankful for its ability to relate our realms of reality into one through its characters and story-lines. I’m thankful for the laughter in life – there’s nothing I love more than just having a big old laugh. It’s what life is all about. I, like many people out there, get too focused on the future and what it should bring that I sometimes forget to just live my life.
Which is quite controversial seeing as though I started this blog post wanting to talk about my aspirations for the new year… awks. how cliché of me I hear you roar.
Moving swiftly on, I’d like to give thanks for the kindness of strangers who can brighten up anyone’s day just when you least expect it. Its little things like holding the door open or moving to let you sit down on the tube that can really make the difference to what was a miserable day. Upon returning to London I had lost my key for my flat. The receptionist let me in that night. Coming down in the morning another member of staff was there. I explained the situation and he decided to help me out. I think his exact words were ‘Because its a miserable Monday morning I’ll borrow you this temporary key for a week so you have time to find your old key and if not come back and I’ll replace it for you.’
I didn’t actually end up finding it in the end though. I’m a total klutz what can I say.
Right now I’m thankful for life and all it brings. For the experiences I’m experiencing right this moment and those in time to come. I’m thankful for its challenges which enable me to grow and learn. Life has already predetermined my fate but it’s up to me to carve my path to get to that endpoint. Yes I will make mistakes and yes there will be tears but that’s the beauty of it. Its special and its mine.
With that in mind I’m hopeful for my future. Yes I’ll have a plan but what I wont be doing is making everything fit it. I’m open to new things and opportunities and I’m trying to stick to my ‘If you’re presented with offers, take them’ idea this year as sometimes the best decisions in life are those that come from spontaneity. January has been welcoming thus far and I hope the rest of 2017 will be as warm as this present month. In just 2 nights sleep there will be a new month with new opportunities. I implore you all to relish in what it brings and most of all, find happiness in everything you do.
Stay positive you never know whats waiting for you just around the corner.
After reading this back, my gratitude section sounds a lot like my Oscar winning speech. Hey at least I’m prepared..
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